WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

We once said that if a ride and motorcycle journey went off exactly as planned, there would be no great stories to tell, no colorful anecdotes to relate, and nothing that you would surely remember years down the road.

Remember that ride to Van Sant Airport back in May? Me neither. I know we went, but nothing stands out.

What about that ride up through the Hudson Valley in July? Sorta remember. I do remember the great BBQ at the Barnstormers. But the ride and day? Na. Got nothin’.

On the other hand, when things go unexpectedly, you tend to remember them. It is better when that something is pleasant and cheerful. Maybe finding a car show in the Adirondacks, or that sudden rainstorm that leaves you with the most amazing rainbow. Those memories are treasured, and the ride becomes more memorable.

But when things go awry, and the unexpected happens, and that unexpected is not good; well, those rides get burned even deeper into our memory. 

I can list more than a few, but my shrink, Dr. Chivers, says I should learn to let go.

It is not a good idea to start a ride thinking of bad things. Most of us know the risks, but bringing up worst-case scenarios before the helmets are on makes for a poor start to any great ride.

We were on a guided tour where the lead rider warned us numerous times of one hairpin. This hairpin was not unlike the dozens of others we had ridden though over the last few days, but the guides doom & gloom warning set the tone, and all approached this hairpin as if a dragon with rabies was waiting around the bend.

Don’t you know this was where one rider crashed, simply because they were over-thinking and letting the unnecessary warnings and bad vibe steal away from their riding rhythm.

We’re not saying that being aware of things like hairpins, or fuel stops (or lack there of) are a bad thing or should not be brought up, but when given with a tone of pessimistic foreboding, that tone will be a very bad chord.

But we might want to follow the Boy Scouts motto here and “Be Prepared.” If room allows, you should carry at least a First Aid Kit. Taking CPR and First Aid courses is a plus as well, and we know there have been a number of medical professional riders who offer Accident Management Courses.

This Jungle came around a few months back when, with absolutely nothing to do on a rainy evening in a hotel a galaxy away, I had the thought that I would bring in my top case and go through it all.

Inside there was a First-Aid medical kit. It was a pre-packaged product that I somehow got hold of years back and tossed into the top case. At one time, I might have pilfered some items from my older kit, and I know items have been used over the years for light issues.

Putting a clean white towel across the bed, I dumped out the contents and was underwhelmed by my true lack of preparedness.

I could hear Dr. McCoy saying over my shoulder, “Well, dammit, Jim, you're a rider, not a surgeon. What sort of not-good-enough crap is in this bag?” 

Bones was right, but who is Jim? 

Indeed, it was highly questionable what any of this stuff on the bed would do in an emergency. It  clearly was not going to help much.

This kit was more schoolyard than backroads. Assorted band-aids, little packets of acetaminophen, ibuprofen, and aspirin. Some triple antibiotic ointments, tweezers, gloves so you can look like you know what you are doing when you use the supplied tweezers to get that splinter.

All these were things that can be used for light scrapes, and such – but for some trauma, more is needed.

I knew there had to be more, so I went back outside and brought in a second bag of medical wizardry that we had picked up at the Vintage Festival at Barber a few years back. We had been watching a demo from the local paramedics, which highlighted the need to stop heavy bleeding and the proper use of a tourniquet. We were in… and bought their kit – which had a military-style tourniquet, a packet of QuickClot Gauze, and some additional, serious wound bandages.

Okay, now I felt like I was heading in the right direction Medic Kit-wise, and this put me on a quest to have the most complete kit that I could carry, in the smallest package with which I could carry.

I took stock of what other deeper kits had and followed in their wake. Some more QuickClot, Sting-Kill ampules, and a moldable splint. I also added in a short supply of tampons. Excellent for puncture wounds, and if you have women riding with you, you might end up being a hero and get ice cream or a drink bought for you that night.

We should all hope the best, but be prepared for the worst. The last thing I want to hear if I am trying to help some downed rider is, “Dammit, Jim!”